PRANKS!'s topics - tribe.net

Al Gore initiqates global cooling!

3sheetstothewind! — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 07:20:25 GMT

Beginning Jan 1, 08 , all British Petroleum tankers will ferry shipments of ice cubes to the North pole.
Amazing! Volunteers are needed with ice tongs to distribute packages along the coast.

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

Zombie Alert Tonight Civic Center 7:30pm SF

Alexandra — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 22:44:10 GMT

Good citizens of San Francisco, this is your FINAL WARNING.

There will be a ZOMBIE ATTACK TONIGHT!!!

When: 7:30pm Thursday 10/11
Wear: Duct tape on torso to indicate participation
Where: The NW corner of the Main Library
Larkin Street, by Fulton
The large metal sculpture (aka "The Double-L Gyratory Zomby Attractor")
Google Maps: http://tinyurl.com/2xoj6u

Many of you were already taking precautions to stay far far far away
from that area already due to the San Francisco MAYORAL DEBATE going on
at the EXACT SAME TIME. Hopefully the attack will be subdued before the
the debate is completed and the hundreds of attendees leave the building
through the single exit pointed directly at Larkin and Fulton.

Those good citizens, though likely disenfranchised and disillusioned,
are not disembrained, and may thus prove IRRESISTABLE to the shambling
cerebrophillic horde.

If defeat is unsuccessful, an unknown party has offered to capture as
many zombies possible inside a bus, and drive them all to a classified
area (in the Mission) for complimentary "embalming fluid" afterwards.

- - - - - - -

A recap of basic zombie mob procedures & etiquette:

Show up at the meeting point on time. Arrive dressed as either a zombie
(fake blood, torn clothing, vacant stare) or a zombie victim (place a
piece of duct tape somewhere visible upon your person, and wear clothes
that you do not mind having torn and bloodied). Act like zombies. Attack
and "convert" victims. (If you have it, bring extra blood and makup for
conversions.) Shamble where the mob shambles. Have fun, but be
respectful of innocent bystanders and private property.

1. If you are wearing duct tape on your torso, the mob will attack you,
ruin your clothes, eat your brains.
2. Zombies will not get blood on innocent bystanders or their things.
3. Zombies will leave private property reasonably soon after being asked.
4. Zombies who don’t exhibit these behaviors will be beaten into shape
by their fellow horde.

More information can be found at www.eatbrains.com

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

Hey let's cut off our nuts for Jesus!

Swaz — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 14:45:46 GMT

Oh common guys, I was only kidding!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skoptsy

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

Mechanic's prank

Swaz — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 08:10:49 GMT

If you switch the number one wire with the number seven wire on any eight-plug distributor cap here is what will happen: The vehicle will start and the engine will sound normal. When the driver puts the car in drive (if it's an automatic) or the clutch is let-out, the engine will stall.

They will then put it back in park of course and repeat with the same result. The car will be rendered inoperable until the mysterious problem is diagnosed.

STARTS - DIES - STARTS - DIES - STARTS - DIES....can be amusing on the right person.

Swaz

posted in PRANKS! - 2 replies

For all you Stalkers

JoeBorfo — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 23:41:43 GMT

ever wonder if people are where they say they are?...

or maybe u lost ur phone and u want to see where it is. well now u can by copying and pasting the URL down there and simply punching the number of the cell phone that ur trying to locate. it's pretty cool check it out :)

http://www.phonetrace.org

posted in PRANKS! - 1 reply

prank

Cory-Faded — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 06:10:44 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ve21XwzXqs

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

Fake agency offers ads on hookers' thighs

Chaotron — Thu, 06 Jul 2006 01:20:50 GMT

Fake agency offers ads on hookers' thighs

Jul 5, 7:59 AM (ET)

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - A Dutch design student bored with conventional advertisements has set up a fake online agency offering advertising space for beer, cars and TV stations on prostitutes' thighs and cleavage.

On his website www.instoresnow.nl, Raoul Balai also proposed painting brand names on zoo animals and floating huge billboards off popular beaches to get vacationers' attention.

"I was getting sick and tired of advertising everywhere," Balai told reporters. "But I don't want to preach, and I thought satire would work better."

Far from taking his ideas as a joke, an Amsterdam zoo had its lawyer threaten Balai with a defamation suit after his website depicted fish from the zoo bearing the brand name of a frozen fish company.

Prospective customers phoning his fake agency are kept on hold and bombarded with sales pitches until they give up.

posted in PRANKS! - 1 reply

How to lose information

Swaz — Sun, 01 Jan 2006 23:22:21 GMT

I had this idea some time ago but due to tribe's new policies I can't suggest what one could do with a pen like this. Initially the suppliers I found wanted an exhorbitant sum, but now I found a place where you can get them for five bucks a pop. I think I CAN say that one could disguise the letters on the pen with paint or tape and then one of these could be left somewhere attached to a string. Yah. I think I can say that. For the rest, use your imagination. It could really inconvenience certain "people".

http://www.shomer-tec.com/site/product.cfm?id=99884D26-CAE2-64DA-DD8061966FFE0395

Swaz

posted in PRANKS! - 3 replies

Email

PhilKoz — Sat, 21 Jan 2006 04:04:30 GMT

An old friend sends me emails every now and then... I am not after him:) I am after a friend of his that done did me wrong:) Now I can grab his email from the list, but where is a good place to enter it in order to see that he is inondated with spam???

posted in PRANKS! - 1 reply

Upcoming Tribe.net changes

unsubscribed_user — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 12:46:17 GMT

Does anyone have ideas about how the new Tribe.net rules will affect this tribe? It applies to anything that is deemed 'offensive' by any other member of Tribe. It could be everything here (images and ideas).

Thoughts?

posted in PRANKS! - 16 replies

Liquid key scratch

Swaz — Mon, 05 Dec 2005 06:48:29 GMT

There is a company that specializes in "revenge" products that sells a rubber-stop vial of acid called "liquid key scratch". Google it for the link. The idea is that you can eat-away the paint of a car down to the bare metal with whatever slogan you like.

Let's say something relatively benign. I EAT POO. You could do this on the hood of a coworker or neighbor in under five seconds. The target would first try and touch it up but it would still be as neon as the metal. They would have to suffer the indignities of being called the "poo-guy" or having people say, "Here comes the poomobile again".

The only solution would be a very expensive repainting of the car. I don't know if this qualifies as a prank per se but the possibilities still make me laugh.

With this product what would you acid-etch from front to rear?

Swaz

posted in PRANKS! - 5 replies

Homewrecker

fuck — Sun, 06 Nov 2005 09:55:09 GMT

So I just saw a show on MTV called Homewrecker, seems to be about a guy who'll come to your house and get revenge on someone. 'cept the revenge is always about him rearanging someone's room. Then he gives you little tips on pranks you can do around the house. On the episode I saw, all the pranks (done on the show and illustrated for you to pull at home) are basically squirt water on someone. I guess the idea is pretty cool, the problems are 1, it's on MTV. 2. the pranks seem kinda dull. Even when they mess up someone's room, part of it involves a hose so they can squirt the guy with water.

Oh, and they intorduce themselves and tell him he's gonna be pranked. Literally, they came out and said "Hi I'm _______ from MTV. you messed with this guy so we've pranked you by messing up your room. come take a look."

I mean, WTF?

posted in PRANKS! - 6 replies

R.I.P. R.P.

korntee — Sun, 11 Dec 2005 02:32:13 GMT

http://www.richardpryor.com/media.cfm

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

funny office trick

3sheetstothewind! — Mon, 10 Oct 2005 11:22:10 GMT

I have "one of those bosses" and decided he needed some leveling. Included in those 5 gallon water bottles that are delivered for the cooler is a cap lined with foam. we have crappy old phones so I unscrewed his mouthpiece, inserted the foam, and returned the cap. All day he screamed into his
phone "I don't know why you cant hear me!!!" and finally made a trouble call. Am I evil?

posted in PRANKS! - 8 replies

Rat Trap

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 00:55:18 GMT

...for rats that drive cars, that is.

http://www.diamondbacktactical.com/Stinger-Spike-System-Pocket-Size-Tire-Deflator-P1052C113.aspx

posted in PRANKS! - 5 replies

Damnation Army

Swaz — Mon, 03 Oct 2005 21:41:26 GMT

Well the holliday season is right around the corner and I had the idea of filing a 501c3 (non-profit IRS) to get a ligitimate "Damnation Army" off the ground. The collection people would ring bells but dress in hooded angel of death outfits like the monks of the middle ages.

THEN instead of handing-out free food we'd get a temporary liquor permit and buy a keg for all the boozehounds that wanted some. Have a piss-bum party in front of the jail downtown. The press release would make laughable reading until they found-out it wasn't a prank.

Fuck "salvation". Send em to hell on a rail! Hahhaha.

Swaz

posted in PRANKS! - 1 reply

being mischievous can get you killed!

unsubscribed_user — Wed, 16 Nov 2005 18:27:10 GMT

Hey, the bird was just having a laugh...

* * *

Activists cry foul over killing of domino-spilling sparrow

Last Updated Wed, 16 Nov 2005 11:00:14 EST
CBC News

Animal rights activists in the Netherlands want charges laid in the shooting of a rare sparrow that knocked over 23,000 dominoes as a TV company was setting up for a world-record attempt.

The sparrow, which is on the national endangered list, had flown into an exposition centre on Monday in the northern city of Leeuwarden. After knocking over the dominoes, it was chased into a corner and shot by an exterminator with an air rifle.

"Under Dutch law, you need a permit to kill this kind of bird, and a permit can only be granted when there's a danger to public health or a crop. That was not the case," Dutch animal protection agency spokesman Niels Dorland told the Associated Press.

"I might add: Is it really necessary to kill a bird that knocked over a few dominoes for a game?" he said, adding that the agency plans to bring the case to national prosecutors.

The killing has sparked outrage in the Netherlands.

Death threats have reportedly been made against the man who killed the bird. A Dutch disc jockey has offered a reward of 3,000 euros ($3,500 US) to anyone who topples the dominoes before the official start.

About 100 people with the TV company Endemol NV had spent weeks at the centre setting up more than four million dominoes in an attempt to surpass the official Guinness world record for falling dominoes. The record is 3,992,397.

Endemol spokesman Jeroen van Waardenberg defended the killing of the bird.

"That bird was flying around and knocking over a lot of dominoes," van Waardenberg said. "More than 100 people from 12 countries had worked for more than a month setting them up."

Van Waardenberg added the company may set up a memorial or mention the dead bird during its television broadcast Friday.

But Dorland dismissed Endemol's reason for killing the sparrow.

"I think they were awfully fast to pull out a rifle. If a person started knocking over a few dominoes, they wouldn't shoot him, would they?"

* * *

http://www.cbc.ca/story/world/national/2005/11/16/sparrow051116.html

OR

http://tinyurl.com/dw8bp

* * *

posted in PRANKS! - 3 replies

Payphone fun site

saint_al — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 20:41:44 GMT

http://www.phoneswarm.com

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

tgi atikins

miamaybe — Mon, 07 Nov 2005 02:04:48 GMT

http://sobad1.tribe.net/thread/1690fe4e-d42a-4922-ae84-9f0844412fb4?threads=true&r=10025#b71025aa-0830-4963-9c0a-b50c39bea22e

posted in PRANKS! - 1 reply

Waterbed Prank

mikecousart — Wed, 02 Nov 2005 18:44:58 GMT

http://www.StupidVideos.com/?VideoID=1273

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

Fertilizer messages

Swaz — Sun, 23 Oct 2005 21:54:25 GMT

A couple of summers ago I did the lazy man's lawn-grow technique and threw lawn fertilizer here and there by the handful. Yah, okay I'm an idiot. It left these brown streaks wherever I threw it because the concentrations were too high.

So now I'm thinking, "Who has a big lawn or football field that is just screaming-out to have a message appear?"

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US

Swaz

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

Rewiring elevators

Swaz — Mon, 17 Oct 2005 00:57:44 GMT

This is a second-hand story but still amusing. Someone told me that when they were in college they lived in a high-rise dorm. Some prankster went and took the panel screws out of the button plate and switched and swapped all the wires so that they went to the wrong floors.

There were no safety issues involved. The alarm and emergency phone and whatever else still worked. Just that none of the numbers were correct. According to the guy who told me, people in the dorm got such a kick out of it that they never told maintenance. This would invariably lead to whoesale confusion when people came to visit or for parties or whatever.

Anyway. Thought it was a good prank.

Swaz

Oh, and everyone is bashing me is "culture jamming" cause I want to have some fun with christians. I feel so bad now. Hehehe.

posted in PRANKS! - 3 replies

Ex-prep and Ipicac

Swaz — Sun, 09 Oct 2005 00:57:43 GMT

Ex-prep is designed to evacuate your bowells. Like before surgery or something. Ipicac is for poison-treatment like if your kid went through a thousand Flinstones chewables. (iron poisoning) makes you puke like crazy.

Is it bad to want all of your co-workers to shit their pants and barf everywhere? That could land someone in jail I suppose. The idea is still pretty funny. Avoid that spiked coffee. Heheheh. Oh, and I don't have any coworkers, I just have evil thoughts.

Swaz

posted in PRANKS! - 7 replies

TREE MASTURBATORS UNITE

Swaz — Sun, 17 Jul 2005 17:40:54 GMT

"Skakel did not testify himself but jurors heard a 1997 tape recording he made in anticipation of writing a book about his life as a cousin of the Kennedys. On the tape, Skakel placed himself at the crime scene on the night of the murder. He said he was masturbating in a tree outside Martha Moxley's bedroom window."

http://www.courttv.com/trials/moxley/verdict-guilty_ctv.html

THIS MAN WAS RAILROADED JUST BECAUSE HE LIKES TO JERK-OFF IN TREES. FREE HIM NOW!

Swaz

posted in PRANKS! - 7 replies

junk mail

fuck — Sat, 01 Oct 2005 20:27:18 GMT

An interesting take on an old idea. actually get rid of your junk this way.

http://www.vertical-visions.com/_temp/postagepaid/index2.html

posted in PRANKS! - 4 replies

cancelation of the PRANKS! tribe???!!!

zero_attention_span_man — Tue, 27 Sep 2005 19:02:28 GMT

this is bullsh**. i just got word that tribe is cancelling the PRANKS tribe for some stupid liability thing. i heard that tribe is busted for someone getting pranked and hurt as a result and the pranker read aboiut how to do it here. this is supposted to be the last week of this tribe. that sucks!
its been fun.

good luck to ya'll.
peace

posted in PRANKS! - 8 replies

Harmless evil mind-fuck

Swaz — Thu, 28 Jul 2005 20:14:31 GMT

This is great. I have to get some of this AR stuff!

"Well, in Optical Petrology class, there's this little test to distinguish
between low-magnesium and high-magnesium clacite, dolomite and ankerite
(typical carbonate minerals); and this was to stain the polished and etched
thin section with an organic dye called Alizarian Red. Well, AR is
odorless, colorless and tasteless. It will also color a person's urine
blood red.

So...

Properly nameless showed up one evening and proceeded to drink up a fair
share of beer. Whilst he was in the head, we spiked his beer with AR. He
came back and drank down a rather generous portion of beer, not knowing why we weren't complaing about his chintziness. Well, after 6 or so more
beers, nameless wanders off to answer nature's call yet again. He was
semi-lit up and having just a LARGE time, laughing and joking all the way.

When nameless returned to our table, he was as white as a fish-belly, eyes
as big as dinner plates and he was mumbling something about "I'm gonna
die...I'm gonna die..."

We did tell him 2 days later that his beer was spiked."

http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/12.html

Swaz

posted in PRANKS! - 5 replies

SEWING THE SEEDS OF CONFUSION

Swaz — Thu, 15 Sep 2005 05:35:51 GMT

There many places that sells pens of disappearing ink. I was just thinking where I should go leave one attached to a string?

*Fed-X / kinkos
*(we hate you) National Bank
*Police Station
*State legislature
*Mayor's office

You know alot of places come to mind where ink that turns clear after a couple of days could make wikkidly good fun. If you didn't actually CREATE / DESTROY documents, just like, HELPED them to evaporate.... Well? Is that a crime?

http://www.pimall.com/nais/dispen.html

http://www.21stcenturyplaza.com/1spy/Disappearing_Ink_Pen.html

http://www.spysupplystore.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=dip-101&Category_Code=lpsg-101

If you can think of another nominee for one of these pens feel free to leave it. Perhaps I'll pay them a visit.

Swaz

posted in PRANKS! - 6 replies

The Ex

lindabelly — Tue, 30 Aug 2005 16:57:13 GMT

Have you played a prank on the ex?

posted in PRANKS! - 4 replies

London "Diaper Man"

unsubscribed_user — Mon, 22 Aug 2005 14:49:37 GMT

This could be a prank...or maybe not:

Man In Diapers Harassing Women In London

LONDON (Reuters) - UK police said Monday they were searching for a man wearing just a diaper, who approaches women late at night and asks: "Are there any baby changing facilities around here?"

Cleveland police in northeast England said the latest incident occurred around 11 p.m. Sunday when he surprised a women walking her dog in a play area in Eaglescliffe, near Middlesbrough.

Police said no one had been assaulted by the man but described his behavior as bizarre and a cause for concern.

"There have been several reports of him having been seen in Eaglescliffe dressed only in a nappy and we are keen to trace him and speak to him," police said.

http://go.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=9377893&src=rss/oddlyEnoughNews

posted in PRANKS! - 1 reply

New PRANKS! book - contributors wanted

unsubscribed_user — Mon, 15 Aug 2005 18:10:51 GMT

From V. Vale's latest RE/SEARCH Newsletter

** We've barely begun our next book project, a follow-up to our groundbreaking PRANKS! book. If you would like to contribute, please contact us. We've been sidetracked by dealing with a literal ton of water that poured through our ceiling, ruining some (but not all) of our archives, thanks to the woman upstairs who changed her deadbolt and refused to give a key to the manager--it took 35 minutes to break her door down and by then her apartment looked like Lake Tahoe.) Next week we will begin anew the PRANKS Project and the very important publicizing of our two September events.

RE/Search Publications
20 Romolo Suite B
San Francisco, CA 94133
(415) 362-1465
info@researchpubs.com

==============================

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

Jeez, this one's great.

fuck — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 17:40:56 GMT

I never read these prank chronicles all the way through, but this one was just too funny.

http://www.improveverywhere.com/mission_view.php?mission_id=46

posted in PRANKS! - 5 replies

Office Prank

.zegnatronicalled — Fri, 17 Jun 2005 00:57:55 GMT

http://www.gizmodo.com/gadgets/images/brickhouse1-small.gif

posted in PRANKS! - 5 replies

Prank?

fuck — Wed, 29 Jun 2005 15:23:34 GMT

so there's this guy. he calls himself Michael!. One day he popped outa nowhere wiht my face from a show in LA, a buddy Zeke's glasses, and some seriously messed up hair he found on the internet.
http://sanfrancisco.tribe.net/template/pub%2CViewPhoto.vm/context/pcard?page=2&currentoffset=11&parentid=1249e5c3-a937-4450-8f13-ab033a8b4768&sortby&rows&r=10535
He seemed nice enough so I didn't complain.

then he filled his gallery with a bunch of images from my profile... but with this crazy Michael/Zeke/mullet head. Being a bit of a narcissist, I thought it was kinda funny.

Now he's gone n done this:
http://tribes.tribe.net/molemike?_click_path=Application%5Btribe%5D.Tribe%5B8ed30ce4-6fa5-4a09-9ac9-437050d96eed%5D&r=10535

posted in PRANKS! - 4 replies

Fake prescriptions

Swaz — Sun, 24 Jul 2005 18:57:26 GMT

I read about a prank that is mildly illegal but nontheless fun. You either swipe a few prescription slips from a doctor next time you're in an office or just make them up on your computer. Then put on your thinking cap and think of any number of sick things to "infect" your target, you know that guy that is a pain in the ass at work etc.

Then fold it and drop it in the hallway at work where someone is bound to find it and look at it. Or leave it next to a toilet where any number of adjacent office employees from neighboring business will find it. Hey! Turns out the boss has genital warts! What do you know! APPLY TO PENIS ONCE A DAY UNTIL GONE...Hehehe... I doubt the said finder is going to walk into the bosses office and say, "I think you dropped your prescription".

The next office meeting after that should be somewhat amusing. Suppressed giggles all-around.

Swaz

posted in PRANKS! - 3 replies

Fan Club Gag Site Needs Your Help

klown_mother — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 15:17:43 GMT

Pranksters,

Please help me with a prank. It involves creating a Blogger account at www.blogspot.com (if you don't have one already) and then logging on to make comments on this website to make comments as though you are members of a raving Chad Fan Club:

http://championsofchad.blogspot.com/

The backstory is that Chad is relatively new to Bellingham, WA and he needs some freaky friends. His friend Diva in Colorado has given me his contact information and some photos of him (some are included in the posted photos) to work with. The gag is that without his knowing it, there are Chad Fan Clubs all over the world and Bellingham has a strong membership. The problem is, we’ve never gotten to meet him, because supposedly he never returns our calls. (We actually never have met him.)

The story will turn out that we had one digit wrong in the phone number, so we’ve been calling some poor old lady who has no idea what we’re talking about. Then one day, we figure it out and call him at the right number. Sometime soon, I think. I’ll send some kind of email to him with a link to the site explaining our error, and that we’ll be calling him soon to invite him to a big CHAD appreciation event.

We're planning a potluck soon here in Bellingham, so if we can pique his curiosity and get him to attend the potluck, I’ll make a bunch of paper masks for us to wear out of the photo of him with the sunglasses on. (Note I put the sun glasses in each posted photo)

Any other ideas? Be nice-I know what kind of a diabolical group you are. The goal here is to make him laugh, not send him running to the police department for a restraining order.

Have fun, Chad fans! Thanks be to your Pranks!

posted in PRANKS! - 11 replies

Cybersex Shenaniganism

Fri, 15 Jul 2005 22:19:50 GMT

So this guy apparently approaches ladies in adult chat rooms and then spins something completely twisted... While I think it's a tad juvenile and'd be funnier if acted out live, it's still pretty fuckin' funny.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
Sarah19fca: you like that?
Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.
Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

---------------

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: K, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
Bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
Bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
Bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
Bloodninja: How did you know?
Bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
Bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the fuck?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of s**t
DirtyKate: F**k

------------------

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja: What like gardening an s**t?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa: is that it?
Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this s**t is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ...
Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the f**k is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. B**ch.
MommyMelissa: whatever.

-------

Bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
Bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, Bloodninja.
Bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
Bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
Bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
Bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
Bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
Bloodninja: Don't f**k with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
Bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece.
Bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
Bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
Bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
Bloodninja: Baby?

----------------

Bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli13: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
Bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli13: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli13: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
Bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli13: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli13: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli13: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f**king charge your ass.
j_gurli13: stop, cmon be serious.
Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
Bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli13: thats it.
Bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
Bloodninja: F**k am I hard now.

-------------

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f**k, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh s**t
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f((k up.
eminemBNJA: Oh s((t
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

------------

sweet17: Hi
Bloodninja: hello
Bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
Bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
Bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
Bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
Bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
Bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
Bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
Bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
Bloodninja: Don't f**king laugh at me!
Bloodninja: This s**t is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
Bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a f**king break
Bloodninja: I'm serious.
sweet17: I don't get it
Bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
Bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
Bloodninja: It's kind of embarrasing.
Bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
Bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are f**king sick.
Bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
Bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
Bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
Bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
Bloodninja: Hurry up.
Bloodninja: Are you there?
Bloodninja: F**k you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
Bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
Bloodninja: Weren't you!?
sweet17: thats not it
Bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
Bloodninja: Most cops aren't
sweet17: IM NOT A F**KING COP YOU A**HOLE!
Bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
Bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
Bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
Bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
Bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
Bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
Bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
Bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn't you.
Bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
sweet17: You don't look like that.
Bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
Bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
Bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
Bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go f**k yourself
Bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
Bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
Bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
Bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
Bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: F((K YOU!!!
Bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
sweet17: You're a F**KING A**HOLE!
sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
Bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
sweet17: No you aren't
Bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
Bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I'm done with you
Bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
Bloodninja: Wait a sec
Bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
Bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
Bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
sweet17: You'll what?
Bloodninja: You heard me.
Bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
Bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
Bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
Bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don't know
Bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I'm afraid to
Bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
Bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
Bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
Bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
sweet17: I didn't say that
Bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
Bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
Bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
Bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
Bloodninja: ok?
Bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can't be serious
Bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
Bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
Bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
Bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
Bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
Bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
Bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
Bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth c**t.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
Bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
sweet17: Har
Bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
Bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
Bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
Bloodninja: I softly suck on your cl*t bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
Bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
Bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
Bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
Bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
Bloodninja: ...still limp
Bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your a**hole.
Bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
Bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
Bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A F**KING PYSCHO!!
Bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Bloodninja: And turn you into a f**king candy apple...
Bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: F**K YOU A**HOLE!!
Bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
Bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
Bloodninja: ...going limp again.
Bloodninja: Hello?
Bloodninja: Say it!
Bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

__________

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 280 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

-----------------------------

I.F.: You ready yet? Im bearing to go!
SexyKarla17: Yhea im slipping out of my clothes right now, what do you look like?
I.F.: a Kodiac bear
SexyKarla17: ?
I.F.: Im soft naked, fuzzy and waiting for you to come mount me
SexyKarla17: Oh I love cute fuzzy bears, I walk up and get on top of you stroking your soft hair, kissing you gently as my move my way down your stomach
I.F.: I growl to warm you my cubs are near
SexyKarla17: huh?
I.F.: Bears get f**kin pumped when anyone is near their cubs
Sexkarla17: yhea hehe dont be silly..
SexyKarla17: I love how you growl as I continue to kiss you, while taking off your pants.
I.F.: Bears dont wear pants and you should cover yourself in Honey now
SexyKarla17: hehe you would love to lick that off me huh. I pour honey all over my warm wet body waiting for you to start licking it off me slowly
I.F.: I sniff the air to see where the sweet scent of the honey is coming from, while slowly snorting and walking towards you
I.F.: I Growl again, and start to bite you
SexyKarla17: Yhea that feels good..ooooo...not too hard now
I.F.: I bite harder peeling flesh from your stomach, and look up into your eyes to show you my mouth dripping with your warm blood mixed with honey, I then I let my cubs rip apart your limbs and play with you like a ragdoll.
SexyKarla17: what the f**k?
I.F.:uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh and im spent.

------------------------------------

I.F.: My s**t is hard you ready to jump aboard?
1hOttYeVe: oh yea im so wet right now
I.F.: Why you just shower?
1hOttYeVe: no im wet for you
I.F.: Did you ever play with supersoakers when you were a kid? or that gator s**t you would dive and slide down, there was that badass pool at the end of it.
1hOttYeVe: What the f**k are you talking about? You wanna cyber or not?
I.F.: I do! Sorry...I just didnt know why you were wet...then you say your wet for me, and im thinking I didnt even throw water on you...
I.F.: Im sorry lets continue!
1hOttYeVe: alright then...I walk over to you and start kissing your neck and chest
I.F.: I pop like 16 boners
1hOttYeVe: what the f**k!
I.F.: what?

-------------------------------------

Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit.
Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.
Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.
Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
Partner6: It likes that.
J-Dogg: aight.
Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
Partner6: WTF?!
J-Dogg: Oh s**t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only f**k women...
J-Dogg: S**it just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
Partner6: You dips**t.
J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.

---------------------------------------

J-Dogg: I see you in line at the supermarket. Our eyes meet.
Partner8: Who the f**k are you?
J-Dogg: I mouth the words to you, as if in slow motion:
J-Dogg: F**k me, F**k me.
J-Dogg: My wishes are like poetry in your eyes. We want this moment to last forever.
Partner8: OMFG are you trying to cyber me?
J-Dogg: We are like two dancers, for whom the music never stops. I Kiss the top of your hand. You are taken aback by the bulge that forms in your thigh.
Partner8: Is that like cancer?
J-Dogg: If cancer is our love, then I hope you don't have the technology of chemotherapy.
Partner8: Good one romeo.
J-Dogg: You grab the bulge that you feel. you think it must be taking over your mind, theres nothing else you can think of. My tubesteak to you is like a beautiful japanese haiku.

The salmon swim at night.
Towards your room.
The snow and the moon.

Partner8: that was never a haiku.
J-Dogg: To your light bulb I am the Thomas Edison of your sex. Withought my light you would be lost in a sea of darkness.
Partner8: That made even less sense than your "haiku"
J-Dogg: So you ready to f**k then?
Partner8: You unbutton my pants, spew your load at the sight of my underwear, and your spent.
J-Dogg: ...
Partner8: ?
J-Dogg: I'm spent.

-------------------------

Jdogg: Hey
QT-Pie: Hey
Jdogg: whats goin on
QT-Pie: Nothing. Who are you?
Jdogg: Jdogg. Wanna cyber?
QT-Pie: what does that mean?
Jdogg: what are you wearing?
QT-Pie: T-shirt. Jeans.
Jdogg: Garter belt?
QT-Pie: Ummm...no.
Jdogg: Are we gonna cyber or not?
QT-Pie: uh, okay.
Jdogg: Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this.
Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your p*ssy stink from here.
QT-Pie: WHAT?!
Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.
Jdogg: You leave everything to Jdogg.
Jdogg: I am completely inside of you. You are my dick puppet. I put on a little play.
QT-Pie: This is weird. I should go.
Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.
QT-Pie: A stripe?
Jdogg: I need a sandwich.
QT-Pie: You're a freak.
Jdogg: I was great. You loved it.

http://www.distortedprism.com/text/bloodcyber.html

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

Tell me there's not...

Fri, 15 Jul 2005 18:30:48 GMT

...a prank-tacular use for this sucker:

http://cgi.ebay.com/Proof-Mass-Actuator-Earthquake-Machine_W0QQitemZ2596230058QQcategoryZ26230QQtcZphotoQQcmdZViewItem

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

That old magician's trick

Swaz — Thu, 16 Jun 2005 22:08:55 GMT

What do you know? They really _DO_ saw the person in half. Whaddaya know?

http://www.suicidemethods.net/pix/bandsaw.htm

Swaz

posted in PRANKS! - 9 replies

weed killer

Biff — Wed, 25 May 2005 23:21:09 GMT

Years ago, my neighbor has planted some sort of ground cover with small pink flowers in the gap between our houses. Now, suddenly, he is going ballistic because I guess some of the people living here ride their bikes across it when they squeeze through. MEANWHILE the ground cover has grown, it goes under the 2' wide cement path that makes up our entire "side yard" and is sprouting up between the path and the foundation. Since we don't "garden" it's pretty much enveloping the path. This of course, is also our fault.

I figure if we just pull it out again, it's going to keep coming back. If I spray round up on the parts of the plant that are on our side, will it kill the entire root system and kill the shit on his side too? Because that'd be pretty funny...

posted in PRANKS! - 10 replies

shout out to the Sunnyvale chapter!

violetblue — Wed, 22 Jun 2005 04:04:53 GMT

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2005/06/21/BAprankster21.DTL

this is awesome!

posted in PRANKS! - 3 replies

Anal Car Stickers

mikecousart — Fri, 29 Apr 2005 15:01:12 GMT

I got this idea from the "Things Observed" tribe. Make a small sticker or magnet that says "Anal" to put on cars in front of the car name such as...

Anal Explorer
Anal Expedition
Anal Quest
Anal Probe
Anal Armada
Anal Pathfinder
Anal Outback
Anal Hummer

posted in PRANKS! - 18 replies

revenge unlimited

violetblue — Sun, 19 Jun 2005 08:20:48 GMT

"screw unto others," etc...

anyone ever use one of Hayduke's tips with success?

http://revengeunlimited.com/catalog/

posted in PRANKS! - 1 reply

Colts Leave Indy

David — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 22:18:47 GMT

http://www.theindychannel.com/news/4593604/detail.html

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

Laboratory of Experimental Tourism

unsubscribed_user — Mon, 30 May 2005 10:10:17 GMT

This site has some interesting ideas that are borderline pranks. Some are nearly self-pranks, if that's possible.

http://www.latourex.org/latourex_en.html

====================================

A-Z-travel

Choose a town to visit from A to Z. Find the first road beginning with A and the last beginning with Z, and draw a line between the two. Walk the length of this line and discover the city alphabetically.
AESTHETIC-TRAVEL

Turn a typical holiday into an aesthetic journey. Every time you stay in a different "Hotel Bellevue", photograph, draw or paint the view from your window.
AIRPORT-TRAVEL

Spend 48 hours in an airport without getting on a plane. Enjoy the comfortable lounges, the different washing facilities, the shops and the various eateries. Watch people skip through to the departure lounge and let your eyes glaze over as you peruse the ever-changing departures board.

ALTERNATING-TRAVEL

Leave your home on foot. Take the first road on the right, then the next on the left, then the next on the right, then the next on the left, etc. Carry on until something, a no man's land, a building or a stretch of water, blocks your path and you can go no farther.

ANACHRONISTIC-TRAVEL

Travel using a means of transport that is old-fashioned or obsolete eg, sedan-chair, palankeen, galley, hackney cab, track motorcar, 2 CV, airship, etc.
Visit a foreign town using an old edition of a guidebook.
With the help of a telephone directory (internet, or other method) find a person called Ariadne in a town of your choice.

Give Mr or Ms Ariadne a call and ask him/her what his/her favourite 21 places in the town are.

Mark each place on a map and visit them in a logical order.

BUDGET-TRAVEL

Travel on a total budget. Leave with not enough time and not enough money available to do your trip. Choose a destination that has nothing to recommend it, and where you have a limited understanding of the local language.

BUREAUCRATIC ODYSSEY

Take a tour of the following places known for their administrative function (rather than their touristic value): waiting rooms, social services offices, town halls, police stations. Use the facilities and resources eg, photocopier, brochures, magazines, and sample the gastronomic delights on offer eg, canteen, coffee machine, sandwich shop, etc.

BY-NIGHT-TRAVEL

Arrange to visit a place and arrive at night. Spend the night exploring the town and return home at dawn the next day.

CHANCE-TRAVEL

Insert the name of your home town into the index of a world atlas (if it's not there already). Throw a dice then count that number of lines down from your town. The one your finger lands on is the destination of your trip.

So for example if you live in Melbourne, Australia:
One will take you to Melbourne, USA
Two will take you to Mele, Cap, Italy
Three will take you to Melekess, Russian Federation
Four will take you to Melenki, Russian Federation
Five will take you to Mélèzes, Rivière aux, Canada
Six will take you to Melfi, Chad

COUNTER-TRAVEL

Travel with a camera, but don't take pictures of the famous landmarks and tourist attractions. Stand with your back to the sight and snap that view instead.

DODECATOURISM

All Twelve-travel itineraries should be built around the number twelve.
Examples:
Take a train that leaves at 12.12 and get off at the twelfth stop
Walk or swim along the twelfth line of latitude
Do a tour of hotels, only staying in room number 12
Begin a round-the-world trip with only £/$12/€ in your pocket
Journey along motorways or highways that are number 12

DOUBLE-TRAVEL

Visit places whose names repeat themselves in their title eg, Sing-Sing, Bora-Bora, Baden-Baden.

END-OF-THE-LINE-TRAVEL

Take a suburban bus, tube or train out of a city and travel until the end of the line. Find accommodation to stay the night and explore the suburb that you find yourself in.

ERO-TRAVEL

Arrange to spend a weekend away with your partner. Travel to your chosen destination by different means and don't arrange a meeting time or place. Now look for each other...

EXPEDITON TO K2

Explore the area on a town plan or map that sits in the square marked K2. Take full advantage of all cultural attractions, gastronomic delights and watering holes in that area.

GASTRONOMY-TRAVEL

This gastronomic adventure consists of devising dishes and menus created exclusively from ingredients whose name contains a destination. For example Brussels(s) sprouts, Frankfurters, Paris mushrooms, Chantilly cream, etc

INSIDER-TRAVEL

Explore a place following the suggestions of the locals. Do exactly what they say.
Try doing this in your home town, on the pretence that you are a foreigner.

LASTMINUTE-TRAVEL

Give yourself a year off to go travelling. During those twelve months, travel the world by buying last-minute cheap deals from tour operators. Take a week here, 10 or 15 days there, half board or full board. The only prerequisite for your travels is that you plan your route, using the Internet, by linking holidays or flights that are reduced in price.

(1) From time to time you can go home to rest, do your washing, buy more pet food, vote, etc.

LITERARY-TRAVEL

Take a literary tour of the world without leaving your sitting room. Start with an author from your country, and then read a book by someone from a neighbouring country. Continue until you make your route around the globe.

MONOPOLY-TRAVEL

Method of city exploration which consists of discovering a capital by following the layout of its Monopoly board. Visit the streets, stations, jail, car park, water and electricity companies, etc all by throwing the dice and following the official rules of the game.

NAMESAKE-TRAVEL

Visit places in your home country that share their name with places abroad eg, Ellesmere in the UK (but also in Barbados).

OPUS-TRAVEL

Make a journey that is suggested by the title of a piece of art, literature, music or cinema. For example:

One Night in Bangkok
Round Ireland with a Fridge
Miss Saigon
A Year in Provence

RANDOM-MICRO-TRAVEL

Meet up with friends in a cafe on a Saturday morning
Put your house keys, name and address in an envelope
Mix up all the envelopes and redistribute them randomly
Spend the weekend at the address in the envelope you are given, keeping all the appointments (lunch, brunch or dinner) made by the usual occupant.

SLIGHT-HITCH-TRAVEL

Go to your nearest motorway slip-road with a backpack on and a large piece of card (approx 20*50 cm). Write the name of a faraway destination on your piece of card eg, Buenos Aires, Shanghai, etc. Stand by the side of the road, stick your thumb out and wait

SLOW-RETURN-TRAVEL

Pick a destination that is quite far from where you live and take the quickest form of transport you can find to get yourself home. For the return journey do the reverse and choose transport that is as slow as possible.

THALASSO-TRAVEL

Citing an invented burst water pipe or lack of hot water, invite yourself to take a bath at the house of your friends. Take with you all of the equipment that you would use in a spa: soap, shampoo, towel, bath-robe, relaxing music, seaweed scrub, champagne, etc.

TRAVEL-PURSUIT

Follow some friends when they go on holiday and don't let them out of your sight. Take lots of photos of them using a tele-photo lens. On their return home, welcome them with a slideshow of their holiday.

TRIP-POKER

Trip Poker is a travel game for four people. All you need is an ordinary dice. The game is split into three hands. At stake is a journey with the other players. Each player throws the dice in turn. He or she who gets the highest number wins the hand.

The winner of the first hand chooses the destination of their trip. The destination must lie within a specified distance of where the players live. This distance is calculated by multiplying the number on the dice by 100 km.

The winner of the second hand decides the date of the weekend away by adding a number of months onto today's date. That number is on the face of the winning dice.

The winner of the third hand determines the type of accommodation. Each number on the dice corresponds to an abode, see below.

Hotel
Campsite
In the car
In someone's house
Under the stars
No accommodation & no sleep!
LATOUREX
c/o Joël Henry
3, rue de Bâle 67100 STRASBOURG (France)

Webmaster : Philippe Martz

====================================

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

Artist of the week

unsubscribed_user — Tue, 24 May 2005 14:08:46 GMT

Staff at the British Museum failed to notice that an early cave painting, exhibited in one of the galleries, showed a man pushing a supermarket trolley. The 10in by 6in piece of rock, and slipped into the museum by a practical joker known as Banksy, was accompanied by a sign which explained: “Early man venturing towards the out-of-town hunting grounds. This finely preserved example of primitive art dates from the post-catatonic era”.

The same practical joker recently hung one of his own paintings in Tate Modern. Officials only noticed when it fell off the wall.

http://www.banksy.co.uk/indoors/03.html

posted in PRANKS! - 5 replies

Genetic Reclamation

David — Thu, 26 May 2005 04:08:40 GMT

This sign was put up about 2 months ago. Am I the only person who's discovered this prank?

http://sanfrancisco.tribe.net/template/pub%2CViewPhoto.vm/context/person?page=1&currentoffset=0&parentid=7e77d6a3-9461-486d-85f0-a19960376dd0&sortby&rows&r=10535

posted in PRANKS! - 3 replies

An inclusive, self-sustaining, and pleasant prank

jslprick — Wed, 18 May 2005 18:48:11 GMT

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/BirthdayClub

I'm trying to set in motion an ongoing and regular Surprise Birthday Party in the Bay Area. What it boils down to is yet another excuse to shake your ass and get drunk enough to hit on friends (because the market for that in San Francisco isn't quite flooded, yet), under the guise of birthday cake and making one person feel retardedly special (as opposed to especially retarded).

If you need a gmail account to join the group, get in touch with me- I have a Jesus-kabillion invitations left, and don't know what to do with them. They just sit there, looking all invitation-y.

Let the critiques begin!

posted in PRANKS! - 2 replies

leg warmers

lindabelly — Thu, 12 May 2005 19:18:20 GMT

I am a straight woman who works in a finance office with 9 gay men. We have a new co-worker, a sweet naive boy from Atlanta. He's fresh meat, prank-wise, so here is what we did today....

My co-worker told the new guy that on casual Friday (tomorrow) we all get dressed up in our hot pants and leg warmers. The new guys says, I haven't worn leg warmers since the 80's. I don't even have any!
Co worker says, we'll I'm sure you can buy some at any of the funky stores on Melrose or in West Hollywood....
New guy just asked me for directions to Melrose......

TO BE CONTINUED..........

posted in PRANKS! - 9 replies

Bush Poo

mikecousart — Mon, 16 May 2005 18:38:56 GMT

http://boston.indymedia.org/newswire/display/34179/index.php

posted in PRANKS! - 1 reply

Prank Call radio

Mon, 16 May 2005 16:49:24 GMT

http://kdkprankcalls.com/pcu/

http://pranked.info/

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

help stop the gay agenda...

korntee — Sun, 15 May 2005 01:30:10 GMT

http://www.eugenemirman.com/showandtell.html

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

Inaugural Meeting & Crash-Test of the LA Bar Association

dak — Sat, 14 May 2005 00:29:43 GMT

Inaugural Meeting & Crash-Test of the LA Bar Association

Friday May 13th, 8:00PM
Mr. T's Bowl - 5621 1/2 No. Figueroa St. Highland Park, CA 90042

Come collaborate & conspire with us this Friday on the test run of our debut event set for early June.

Meet us outside the parking lot entrance of Mr.T's Bowl in costume. Any costume. 8PM sharp. Those not in costume will be ignored and rejected. They will be ejected and ditched. They will be left out in the rain and shoved into the gutter. They will put out to pasture and left for dead. I'm sure you get it.

Are you feeling a bit mischievious? Are you an instigator of trouble? Have you been considered a rabblerouser or a hellraiser? Ever been mistaken for an escapee of a mental institution? Are you out of step with the world? Do you aspire to do some something outrageous, just because? We're looking for folks willing to do things, uh I dunno, stuff.

Join us and some ex-conformists because we are gonna start something and you'll want to be part of it.

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

Last congressional Election

Chaotron — Sat, 14 May 2005 00:08:27 GMT

Back in 2003, (before the current spam laws were passed), in the run-up to the congressional elections, I wrote this up, and an associate (with whom I'm unfortunately no longer in contact) used a spam server to get it out to four million people. One of the funniest things to come out of it was that anarchists actually wrote a manifesto against us, easily googleable.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Conservative Satanic Agenda for Bush
Salutations and warm regards!
We at the Conservative Satanic Agenda (CSA) believe
that in these frightening and confusing times, it is
vitally important to put aside our individual
differences and SUPPORT OUR LEADERS. Now more than
ever, we need leaders in Washington who will stand
firm in defense of our national interests, both here
and abroad.

The Bush Administration has stood for America through
a horrifying crisis and potentially endless war, and
we as a nation must continue to support the strength
that our leaders have come to represent, so that we
may remain the most powerful nation on earth. We at
CSA are of the highest hope that you will consider the
timely importance of standing behind strong leadership
when going to the polls this fall.

Thank you for your consideration.

For more information on the CSA, see below.
The Nine Satanic Statements

By Anton Szandor LaVey [i]

1. Satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence!

By bowing out of the Kyoto treaty and refusing to
discuss global climate change, President Bush has
insured that American industries will continue to
prosper.

2. Satan represents vital existence, instead of
spiritual pipe dreams!

. Now more than ever, citizens of the modern world
require prosperity and growth to meet the challenges
of the coming era, and we believe that among
politicians, the Bush Administration is uniquely in
touch with this reality.

3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom, instead of
hypocritical self-deceit!

We at CSA wholeheartedly endorse Defense Secretary
Donald Rumsfeld’s recent statements to the effect that
it’s not important whether the world approves of our
impending strikes against Iraq; it is only important
that we do what we know to be right.

4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it,
instead of love wasted on ingrates!

The Bush Administration has consistently and
intelligently linked aid to third world countries to
development, and backed away from wasting resources on
dead-end welfare programs.

5. Satan represents vengeance, instead of turning the
other cheek!

We call your attention to The Administration’s
masterful retaliation against Al-Queda and their
sympathizers after 9/11.

6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible,
instead of concern for vampires!

Civilization as we know it runs on energy. It is very
important that our energy sources remain secure and
intact. President Bush lives with the burden of this
awesome responsibility every day.

7. Satan represents man as just another animal,
sometimes better, more often worse than those who walk
on all fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual
and intellectual development”, has become the most
vicious animal of all!
---- "These are the kind that go to a cave and send
youngsters to their suicidal death. That's the kind of
people we're fighting. But there's no cave deep enough
for America, or dark enough to hide." George W. Bush,
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, Aug. 29, 2002

8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they
all lead to physical, mental, or emotional
gratification!

While it may not be politically expedient to discuss
what George W. did prior to becoming Governer of
Texas, we would like to simply say that this man most
certainly has our confidence.

9. Satan has been the best friend the church has ever
had, as He has kept it in business all these years!

CSA strongly supports President Bush’s faith-based
social programs.

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

Garden Gnomes

unsubscribed_user — Fri, 13 May 2005 16:43:18 GMT

This discussion link has a few funny pictures that relate to a 'gnome prank' one can do to a die-hard gnome lover:

http://tikiroom.com/tikicentral/bb/viewtopic.php?topic=6747&forum=6

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

NASSA (the Negro space Program)

Alexandra — Thu, 12 May 2005 22:27:43 GMT

from my housemate; it's about 10 min. long:

you all simply must watch the film on this site:

http://www.negrospaceprogram.com/

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

wait a minute mister postman.

fuck — Fri, 06 May 2005 06:08:32 GMT

http://ni9e.com/postallabelsagainstbush/

posted in PRANKS! - 4 replies

Hee hee hee...

ninaeleanor — Mon, 02 May 2005 22:00:34 GMT

http://wishingfish.com/revengecd.html

posted in PRANKS! - 8 replies

how to...

violetblue — Wed, 27 Apr 2005 18:41:05 GMT

cancel someone's credit card!
http://www.boingboing.net/2005/04/26/howto_cancel_someone.html

posted in PRANKS! - 9 replies

Random Acts of Kindness... Tribe

medicina — Wed, 20 Apr 2005 01:51:04 GMT

I just started a tribe, that is very much prank based... but specifically pranks with the intention of creating something positive (i.e. being kind or creating beauty). I love doing mischievous things, and know that it will actually bring joy to someone. Like planting gifts in peoples stuff and never ever telling them that you gave it to them. Perhaps not a prank in the most general sense, but a specific kind of pranking in mine.

Just wanted to invite you all.

posted in PRANKS! - 5 replies

Ducking Dogs

Sat, 16 Apr 2005 06:34:05 GMT

Geez Louise 278 new messages since last time I logged in.

I have a hypothetical fence to climb. At the top is barbed wire, but there are a couple of spots where the wire slacks and looks manageable. On the other side is a mean sounding black dog.

I know some dogs bark and don't bite, but just in case, I want to be prepared if the dog tries to bite me, with either some meat or a gun.

Can I depend on meat to placate all dogs? Or will some dogs be unsilenced by having meat thrown to them? Do I need a backup plan in case the dog is not seduced by the meat?

All thoughts welcome. thank you for your zupport.

posted in PRANKS! - 19 replies

A Little Help!!

J.R. — Wed, 06 Apr 2005 06:01:24 GMT

O.K. here't the scenario. I'm a school teacher and play lots of innocent jokes on fellow workers. Taking chairs of students, desks, duck taping chairs to ceilings, alarm clocks hidden in ceilings, the usual non destructive, but very disruptive jokes that can be played at school.
For a couple of years our staff went sour, whiney babies, I backed off on the ones that could not take it etc.
For April Fools day, Game on. Odd/ creepy screen savers, loud music popping out of their computer All harmless and enjoyable.
One teacher (who is a neat freak) dumps my students desks and kind of trashes the place. She was not able to control her students, and the joke, I guess. Anyway my plan is to "decorate" her room with shredded paper, two or three feet high! maybe a few other add ons but essentially a big mess. For I am the master prankster at our school (small league compared to most of your posts)
Any ideas as to a non destructive, but disruptive joke to play on a teacher or teachers?? Any ideas would be fun, but take into account students are there, so we gots to keep it semi tame.
Also, my principal moved my truck and decorated it. Good one for a first year principal. She has not been there long and now payback is in order. Any ideas. I know it is similar joke, but I was looking for those squiggly packing pieces of foam to fill her entire office. Saw a picture of someones cubicle full to the brim. Does anyone know a cheap way to get the packing squigglies cheap?
Any other ideas.
Thanks for your time.
Just think if you could go back and play havouc on your 6th grade teacher how would you cause chaos?? (maybe a little tamer) but any suggestions would be fun. Thanks again
JR

posted in PRANKS! - 8 replies

cop cars

dylansanchez — Thu, 14 Apr 2005 20:10:44 GMT

If you manage to send me good side front & rear pics of cop cars in distant cities i promise the prank of all pranks. email me offline.

posted in PRANKS! - 4 replies

do the schiavo!

violetblue — Sat, 09 Apr 2005 02:31:51 GMT

http://www.amandaegge.com/schiavo.htm

posted in PRANKS! - 1 reply

The Vatican

unsubscribed_user — Fri, 08 Apr 2005 13:40:15 GMT

Now that the pope has kicked the bucket, the cardinals will soon be locked in a room and will be there until they decide on a new leader for their cult.

What happens is that they release white smoke from the Vatican chimney when they have elected someone. Presumably, in the modern age, they also send out emails from their PR department. I think it would be great if it were possible to send up a bogus premature smoke signal while sumultaneously sending out PR to the world indicating who the new pope was. You know, a black woman or something politically incorrect.

posted in PRANKS! - 3 replies

prank zen

violetblue — Sat, 09 Apr 2005 02:31:04 GMT

http://www.boingboing.net/2005/04/08/web_zen_prank_zen.html

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

moving car prank

martyk — Wed, 06 Apr 2005 22:05:01 GMT

I did this back in high school, and It always went over big......not technically a prank, but fun to do.

stipulations:

1. You are the driver of a car
2. You have a gang of people in the car

OK - you park your car......must be really dark to work. You get out - and walk back to the back window. The passengers stay in the back seat. Start walking backwards and then act like you are running in place.....act like the car is moving forward...and you're running after it (note: hallucinogenics enhance this effect) It is super trippy, the passengers feel like the car is moving.....

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies

april fool's index

fuck — Fri, 01 Apr 2005 16:28:12 GMT

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/

posted in PRANKS! - 7 replies

Boss revenge

Swaz — Tue, 08 Mar 2005 17:20:00 GMT

I used to work for this asshole and eventually got fired. I really wanted to kill this guy but settled on fucking-up his office instead. His office had a mail-slot in the door. Hmmmm.

So I got a five-gallon container and started pissing in it. I also put eggs and crab-meat in their too for extra affect. So one night me and my girfriend drove to this guys office, put a funnel in the slot and poured the whole mess inside. It smelled so bad we both almost puked.

It sure put a smile on my face though. (evil laugh)

Swaz

posted in PRANKS! - 6 replies

Only one April Fool's post?

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 00:44:13 GMT

What gives, yo?!

In case you're long on nerve but short on ideas...
These are some pranks and jokes ideal for April Fools Day.
(from http://www.shanemcdonald.com/laughs/l-april-fools-day.html)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ring your friend before he / she goes to work and say " I'm so sorry to hear you got fired ! " - Act surprised they didn't know yet.

Wet a tissue with milk and run around holding the tissue to your eye pretending you stuck your pen in your eye, when somebody comes close, squeeze the tissue to make the Milk spurt out all over the place.

Place Cling-film over the toilet seat - an old prank but a good one !

Ring your friend and pretend to be from the local GPs office. Tell them they might have Newcastles Disease ( a chicken disease - don't tell them that ).

Sign somebody up to an embarrasing email newsletter.

Go around the office and tell random people that a particular person (e.g. your friend) wanted them to drop over at 11am - they will be surprised when 50 people drop around to their cubicle at once.

Start a rumour that your company is being taken over and loads of staff will be made redundant. Watch the onset of panic.

Put loads of Pencil (scribble and really build up the graphite) on a piece of paper and then rub around the eye and upper jaw. Then go around the office and say you were hit beacuse you didn't get the report in on time.

Advertise your bosses job in the local newspsper - (Great if you want to get fired !).

Get a universal remote control and turn the volume up on all the TVs in your local TV shop, while standing nearby. Try be covert so you can keep doing it.

If you are a manager or have employees under you, send people looking for made up items such as the dehydrated water, the hydraulic cement humidifier, the double sided transperencies, a fallopian tube, the blunt knife, a glass hammer.

If you work in a restaurant, tell all employees that due to new fiar trade regulations, each serving of fries or chips must contain exactly 257 pieces.

During lunch, say to your friend, "Sorry to hear about your partner, (pause) I suppose you had to find out about the affair sooner or later - the whole office knew about 2 months ago.".

Use a 3M Post-it notes placed underneath someones's computer mouse - ensure that it covers the ball or the optical sensor on the bottom. When they go to use the mouse, it won't work! On the 3M Post-it simply write April Fool!.

Get access to another person's office, cubicle or room, and move the entire contents of it to another location or even just outside the door. Another variation is to turn all objects in the room the opposite direction.

Do a few replacements ... Substitute Gravy instead of coffee granules !

If your last one out of the office, empty multiple packs of Jello or Gelatine into the Toliets - the result next morning will be fun !

Break a chilli pepper and rub it a few times on mugs and cups .. adds spice to the daily cup of coffee.

If you have a digital camera, take a picture of the toilet, then plug in your digital camera into a PC or TV (using TV-out) and get the picture on screen. When you see people coming out of the toilets, start laughing out loud and pointing. The person will come and see the picture and think you saw them in there !

Switch the signs for Mens and Ladies toilets ... watch the fun !

posted in PRANKS! - 2 replies

Smuggle your art into the museum

fuck — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 05:26:29 GMT

I thought soup cans were passe

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/03/24/art.prank.reut/index.html

posted in PRANKS! - 1 reply

the black space program

fuck — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 03:22:39 GMT

http://www.negrospaceprogram.com/NSP.mov

The best part is the academia-speak from the black studies professor.

posted in PRANKS! - 0 replies